Fools Rush In

What, Tevaak, happened? Where, Tevaak, are we? Why, Tevaak, is everything so big?

Back to town, back to the inn. We encounter a dude, who wears a guild cloak. “Salutations” and introductions. It is Grayle. He carries a bow.

Finn’s staff glows faintly orange. And suddenly bursts with light. Footsteps audibly run frantically upstairs .. to Mor’den.. He magically sees it. It looks weird. Like a porcupine/bush-baby/dude. He asks what it is doing there.

It leaps at Mor’den and bashes into his immovable shield. He calls to the rest of the party. More arrive.

Some of us feel jostled and grabbed – Badger poofs… there is a tear in the space time continuum. Mor’den orders everyone out of the inn. Finn is next to poof away.

Tevaak and Grayle dive into one of the space rifts. We land in a hard, concrete room – accompanied by hideous laughter.

It is a massive figure, looming above us in our enclosure… it is Lord Seth. He has heard of our pursuit of him. /facepalm.

We open the door to reveal a corridor … metallic factoryish noise ahead.

ZOMG Swinging pendulum blades.

Mor’den attempts to pass one, and takes a bit of a bump. He levitates up to bypass the rest.

Tevaak walks confidently into the first one… /cringe.. Soo much blood. Mor’den meanwhile attempts to disable the trap. 2 weeks pass. We awake to find the trap disabled.

We make our way past the blades – there is an obvious pressure plate in front of the door. Badger shatters the door – beyond is a dark room full of spiderwebs. The pressure plate turns out to be the door opening device. Not so much a trap.

Grayle tosses in a torch. Not much happens.. Mor’den twangs a web. ZOMG Spider! It’s big.

Badger drains its strength. It retaliates with a sloppy web spray, transforming Badger into a webby blob. Finn sends much fire its way, engulfing webs.

There are several missiles, and it moves in to bite the cocoon known as Badger. ZOMG poison! Cone of Fire enters stage right. The curtain lowers.

We find 609 gold pieces, 3 rubies (75gp), 1 diamond (500gp), 7 rocks.

We proceed to a clay room. Bump bump screech. ZOMG Giant Scorpion!

Tevaak charges in and exchanges blows with the scorpion. Sting! Spirit jaws! Missiles, electric, and a big hammah. Fools 1, Scorpion 0.

We pass through another room, and meet a rather large mouse, and a rather much larger rat. We fight the rat and down it with some difficulty … oh, for a rest. Finn the bear charms the mouse.

New corridor. Vertical slits down the walls. Finn smells faint chlorine odors.

Badger talks to the mouse and sends it down the corridor.. The door slams shut and gas pours from the slits. We open the door again. There is a green fog 1ft off the ground. We head slowly in. Noone could have foreseen a large mouse, running back towards us, bleeding. It clambers over us. We successfully pass the gas.

ZOMG snake! Portcullis and possible trap on the corner. Paul gets wtfpwned :_( Some fighting ensues and the snake goes down. Zomg Another trap! It rolls into a large snake corpse. Zomg Anticlimax!

A little further.. ZOMG! Kitty! Many prepared actions. Fight fight fight fight. Kitteh swallows Tevaak and moves forward. Last minute come from behind victory. We cut the belly open and rescue the Tevaak. Heal heal heal.

Aaaaaaand into the portal to the party world. Gareth gets his ass handed to him by the little woman.

"Tactical Retreeeeeeeat!!"

We’re running away.. The Thing is a massive, gorilla-esque, humanoid, skinless, muscley …. thing. It turns to head for the castle.

Finn eagle-morphs and turns to get ahead of Thing. Thing Summoner is floating above.

Finn entangles Thing to half speed. Finn arrives at the castle wall – the rest of us are approaching from behind.

Castle defenses begin firing as we draw nearer. He grows bigger and stronger with chitinous armor as he takes damage .. uh oh.

Mor’den, unperturbed spews fire. And hides behind his horse when retribution comes. Poor Dexter. Tevaak screams and runs… (towards it)

Finn summons a large viper. Badger enfeebles Thing. Thing smash Mor’den. Tevaak tanks.

Thing is Slowed. Finn summons a Dire Bat. It fails to harm the Sorcerer. Finn flies over his windwall, closer to the summoner. Mor’den starts swinging wildly with his staff.

Paul goes in to deliver a spell and gets a fat klap. Bat is lieing on the ground, unresponsive, viper is biting. Finn rallies the archers.

Sorcerer salutes and poofs away.

Paul inserts his pooter into Thing. mmmmm… sweet life. The Thing goes down.

Commander Whatshisface approaches and we report the fight and camp takedown to him.

Tevaak takes the cavalry to clean up the camp site. A few fleeing goblins and bodies/blood in the summoning circle.

In the command tent, Tevaak finds a large spellbook, a large greatsword, a dead pig on a rotissary, a kyber dragonshard which looks like a lilly, and nothing else. He returns to find the massive corpse burning out front.

We rest for the night and in the morning head back to Ar’dev. .. Where we don’t level. >:(


At this point in time we are at the Adventurers Guild. And we are adventurers guildees. We are well trained and ready for fame. Now, at this point in time, we have been ported to Ar’dev, and intend, I’m guessing, to head to Castle Arakain.

We do so, on horseback. As we approach the castle, Paul the Permanent Stirge reports an army of ~300 amassing North of the town. (we’re approaching from the south). Should we enter the castle? Stay tuned.

Army update: 2 Catapults and a tent in the middle. Paul reports a rather large summoning circle. We wave at the castle wall people. They wave back. We head for the drawbridge. Tevaak waves his cloak and the bridge is lowered.

We meet Base Commander Garrin. He gives all sorts of facts and figures to Tevaak. That afternoon we prepare our retort. We are facing: 61 goblins, 153 goblin plebs, 3 ogres, 2 ettins, 1 ogre mage. Don’t forget the big tent, the throne, the 2 catapults, and the massive summoning circle.

Our intention is to head out now (like 3pm) and find some gobbies for interrogation, and to cause whatever damage we can. So, we ride away in the opposite direction, and head back around to infiltrate them from the back.

Scratch finds and utterly destroys a scout. It’s from the nightmare plane, and looks like a giant black cuttlefish. We don’t believe we’ve been identified.

We take a slow walk towards the encampment. We start crawling towards the encampment. We sneak closer and closer to one of the catapults.

Much fire to the crosspiece. and a few goblins.

COMBAT Lots of fire, lots of blind big dudes, a hammer-sword, one hell of a Dino-jump, a piglet, summoning.

OMG ARCHVILLAIN!! It’s Soth in the summoning circle. Everything that is killed thus far is conglomerating into a single area. There is running. We are the ones doing it.

It is a proud moment.

5AM and allll's crap.

We wake. We head towards the South Gate. We start inspecting ppl as they pass through. It is fun.

We hear Hooves thundering closer – Mor’den orders the gate closed, and, inexplicably, the guards comply. Badger sends a raven to warn Nina, and we give chase.

Finn shape shifts into eagle form and speeds away. Badger sends Paul(raven) to warn Nina to close the gates.

Finn reaches her first, telling her to drop the portcullis. As MrY gets closer to the gate, he “takes off” and flies towards Finn and Nina on the battlements. Paul delivers his message.

MrY continues to fly. When he is above Finn, Finn calls down a lightning bolt on his ass. Mor’den assists in opening the gate, as Badger summons.

MrY casts muscular dystrophy on Finn. More lightning. OMG HIS LIMBS COME OFF AND IT’S A BEHOLDER!! It starts opening a rift. zomg – soo much dmg. He fails.

Badger takes a nappy nap. Mor’den turns into a blackened swamp thing. He returns fire. Eye am dead.

Finn is still very paralysed. Once again, we call for Kin’eth. Finn is suddenly very not paralysed. It was a gauth (lesser beholder).

Luscious will oversee the burning of the corpse. We head back to the inn to catch up on sleep. Later that afternoon, we are approached and invited to dinner with the Mayor.

Trip To The Tailor: Part 2 We take another trip to the tailor.

We head to the Silver Marchers quarters, to look for Nina. We heal her and invite her to supper. Badger buys the greatest hat in history. A package arrives for Mor’den from Jizzlek.

We head to the Mayor’s, picking up Nina along the way. We meet the Mayoress.

We talk about the recent events. There is food. Soth is mentioned.. Is he coming back? Nina reckons retribution is near. She’s been following him for a while.

Mayoress offers us first option on the inn of doom. And to become honorary city guards. 24 hours to decide tick tock tick tock.

Our concurrent plan is for Mor’den to purchase it as our Base of Operations.

In the morning, Jomiro greets us downstairs. He offers us full memberships in the Adventurers Guild. We accept.

There is much rejoicing.

Mor'den Shadowmantle is... ROCKY VIII

Morden covers and hides the body of Baghera. The Watch approaches. We scare the crap out of him with the Bagheist.

We head to the trade quarter. It’s dark, night, quiet, empty. The guards will likely see us creeping to the sewer grate. Morden attacks them with a severed head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He gives the order to rally the guards. .. and recind it. He takes the head and potters off to show the Captain of the Guard. Finn feels cold, malignant hatred, boring into his skull.

We head to the sewer grate. We venture onward. Most of us notice a dude, cowering. It’s Jess – but a stoned version.

We head into the cellar of The Turtle. We see a pair of muddy footprints. About 2 hours old. Big booty prints.

We head through the door, around and up the stairway into the inn. We’re in the bar – the barman is still there, crucified on a table. Dude his head completely stuffed. Method to extract information manually.. done usually by bad ppl… like demons and so forth.

We find three claw scratches under the right arm of a chair overlooking the thing. Badger sends his lizard (Paul) to scout ahead. He reports a man waiting on the roof.

We make our way up the stairs exceedingly silently. We are being followed by a bush-baby. Badger turns to daze it, but it is gone.

Badger sends Paul to scout again. There is a dude on the roof with a stone chick and a bunch of small moving dark things. Morden rushes in, foolishly. “Ah, finally”...

Morden walks out. Badger sneaks out, invisible. MrX calls us out – Finn obliges. Morden cone-fires the little minions on the roof. His robes are flayed off.. mostly. He has 3 clawed fingers.

There are bats, shadow-monkeys, mindmelting. Morden totally gets turned to stone. Badger summons a spider which entangles MrX. Finn turns into a wolverine and psychopaths his way through the centre of MrX.

The militia arrive. We tell them the honest truth. And of Jess in the sewer. Badger asks for the Captain of the Guard. He arrives and is a real hardass – Luscious. He questions us.

Badger goes to fetch Kin’eth. Kin’eth does come. He examines the scene. He detects magic. He says he can bring Morden back, and will do so for a favour. We accept.

Kin’eth casts stone to flesh – successfully. And same for blue-eyed, chicky.

Turns out we were planning to trap MrX.. He was one of the three spies. Beghera was another.. the third is “The Houndmaster”. He is a summoner. Blue-eye represents the Cerulean Order. Her name is Nina.

Spy #3 is going to be leaving at dawn, most likely. Nina will take the North Gate, we will take the South.

We take Kin’eth down through the cellar towards the sewers, and past the ritual room. He examines all very carefully. We get to Jess. Kin’eth tries to fleshilize her … she be ded.

Badger talks to Kin’eth a while regarding any help he could offer for the fight tomorrow.

Morden takes Jess’s body to a chapel to be buried at incomprehensible expense. Kin’eth sells Badger 3 scrolls of protection from evil.

We all head back to the inn and try for a good night’s sleep.

Return of the Poo-Dudes

We return to the inn with loot. Keith won’t let us in, because we smell of sewerage. We wash outside.

Finn arrives at the inn, as Badger eats and Morden covets his loot. Badger invites Morden downstairs, but Morden takes his sweet time to steal his slave’s clothes.

Finn tells us of his time in the Plane of Nightmares. We tell Finn of our time conquering the ratmen. Finn reads the missives from Jomiro.

We all retire to Morden’s room. We get Finn up to speed on the ritual-ruining and Tevaak’s departure.

Finn sees an entity pass by our 2nd floor window. Psicrystal reports it as a humanoid (probably extra-planar) with wide, pointy ears – lightbrown in colour.

We sleep in Badger’s room.

Psicrystal wakes Morden – Morden wakes us. There is someone outside our door. It leaves. Badger goes back to sleep. Morden hears someone possibly trying a door (and eventually opening it).

The “awakes” see a vampire-looking creature pressed up against the window. Morden waves at it. It steps back and falls. Our shutters close. They wake Badger up. We sit ready – very much time passes. Morden eventually opens the shutters – all shutters on the building are closed. We sleep.

We all head down for breakfast. nom nom nom. We prepare to head to Jizzleks’s to collect Rewards. He gives Morden a bag of tricks in exchange for the rat-key. Morden sells our loot for GP. BADGER GETS HIS BAG!!

We head to the market to look for Jess. We find Ned and ask him about anything he might know. “Lady with the blue eyes is new. She wanders around looking in windows.”

We wander through the posh quarter of town, and address a guard outside the mayor’s house about the incident last night. He tells us where to find the captain of the guard.

Morden asks Keith about last night’s incident. He finds that one of our rooms had had its door forced in and windows and shutters left open. We head to Kin’eth’s (it is closed, unusually). The tailor reports that he saw Kin’eth going with Jizzlek to his shop. Jizzlek refuses to let us in, and tells us to wait an hour.

We see the blue-eyed babe walking by. Morden stops her. We all have head-echos. We use the coin to see if mentioning Soth is advantageous. It is. We mention Soth – she claims not to know, so we invite her to tell us what she doesn’t know not on the roof of the Turtle not at midnight.

We head to Kin’eth’s. We tell him of the incident last night.He reveals that the blue-eyed woman is staying with the “Silver Marchers”. He suggests that maybe she is here to investigate recent mishaps. We tell him of the ritual, which we hadn’t told him of before. He mentions Petrus is a good candidate for being part of the organising of the ritual. He congratulates us for eRATicating the sewer-folk. The key we retrieved is used to activate a port-key… and is probably worth millions. We finish our Tea-rific beverages and head out – Kin’eth owes us lots of info now.

We head to the Shady Turtle to check out roof access. On the way there, we realise that we can get in through the sewers.

Morden heads to the market to finish the potter. We head back to the inn for lunch/munch/tinner.

We head to the Turtle but are followed along the way. Badger ducks into an alley and hides. He is followed. Morden and Finn hang a u-ey.

Initiative is rolled. Badger continues to hide. Morden and Finn round the corner. There is no monster – wtf? Everyone rolls spot a lot and fails.

We cast lots of spells – they fail. Magic missiles and dire bats save the day. Morden takes 20 minutes to remove it’s head. We stand aside awkwardly until he is done.

It is a barghest. It was the thing at our window.


The Ratmen Have the key!

you camped in the forest at night

in the morning you pretended to go back and intercepted a wagon

all sounded clear

you went back into Ardev and had some lunch

you spoke to keith, Kin’Eth and Jizzlek.

You went to find the ratmen in the sewers

You found the ritual room

you found the ratmen

they had some ooze

the ratman king was crazy

much fun was had by all

there was a lot of loot

we level you level

Spiting Soth

You woke up

Fynn was gone

breakfast was great

Tevaak got a new sword

Mor’den went to find out about the bag

The rat men have the key

A missive arrived by crow

Soth was coming, or was he?

You went to the shady turtle

Tevaak told oresim stories and drew a crowd

Badger and Mor’den met Jess and Ned

They had a little chat in the attic and spent some munni

They went downstairs later and met Petrus

He was pretty bleak

they cleared the bar and disrupted the ritual

Soth arrived early

There were charred bodies

You escaped with your lives

Will there be anything left of Ardev when you return?

Tevaak, Heff and Petrus head to darguun, far and fast

With Fynn missing it is a mystery what Badger and Mor’den might do next.

Tune in next week! =P

The Ice Citadel

You met Jomiro

You got your horses

You were hired by scary people

There was a freaky ritual

It deeply troubled you

You became a monstor in the snow

you killed a big worm dead dead dead

it was fun

You took the necromancer to the Ice Citadel

He was happy

you went home and felt unwell

you woke up and spoke to Jomiro

Tevaak and Jomiro had a fight

you got your horses and rested for the night

You are expecting a message by Falcon tomorrow

Where is Falcon?

The Final Stretch

With his cowl drawn Mor’den sat cross-legged beside the smoldering camp fire. Light from the glowing embers touched his pallid face with a rare warmth. But Mor’den was only there in body; his elven soul fleeted in a dream while he meditated on his ancestors, his proud elven lineage and how his place in this strange world might unfold.

Nearby, something small and unkempt stirred in it’s sleep. It too was dreaming, but not of lineage or legacy, rather of loot and larceny. The gnome’s little head nestled upon a magic wooden box and his arms affectionately embraced a golden candlestick and burlap bag of coins.

Across from Badger, on the opposite side of the fire, lay Tevaak. Beads of sweat glistened upon his dark skin as his body battled the potent spider toxins which still coursed his veins. Close at hand, Heff rested, the bowl of water and a cloths beside him from tending to Tevaak.

Magnus and his stalwart bodyguard, had made camp near his wagon. Magnus’s brow was furrowed from dreams of missed delivery deadlines.

One was absent from the camp site, but he was not far. On a bed of soft grasses and succulent leaves Finn slept. It wasn’t that he disliked the party, or even people for that matter, he simply struggled to find common ground. Animals and plants he could relate to; they did not lie, they did not manipulate and they did not pursue petty material goals. Finn marveled at the humble honesty of nature and in this honesty he found his sanctuary.

The sun had not yet broken in the east, but the tranquility of the dawn was broken by Magnus’ less than sunny disposition. “Wake up!”, he growled, “Time’s a-wasting!”

Like automatons, bodies rose from slumber, breakfast was prepared and the camp site packed up. The caravan lurched onto the dusty road, the only evidence of their sojourn were depressions in the earth where bodies slept and the fading tendrils of smoke which escaped the dying fire.

Magnus might have been mistaken for a slave driver that day. He’d been too long on the road and these escorts had made too many unnecessary diversions, endangering him and his cargo. The Adventurer’s Guild would hear about this.

And so Magnus pushed hard. They never stopped to marvel at the sight of Glyphstone Keep, nor to rest in Glathspyre. The oxen groaned in despair, but Magnus was relentless. The day cooled providing some relief from the trek and then the light began to fade. The hope that the darkness would force camp was lost when the full moon began to rise, enabling their arduous passage to continue into the night.

[WIP – MarkL]


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